Re: woops, take out the last sentence of the description, I missed that one.

Re: woops, take out the last sentence of the description, I missed that one.:
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Posted by Wanny on November 10, 1999 at 04:40:42:

In Reply to: woops, take out the last sentence of the description, I missed that one. posted by Ponderer(Again) on November 09, 1999 at 17:29:00:

Another thing, to add on, always remember, your first line of text has your statline, so make it shorter.

Has anyone seen those descriptions that have pictures and stuff on them, I think those are a nice touch if they aren't that big.

Wanny

> > A nimble human assassin of spritely stature stands nearby. You cannot discern his allegiances or morality, he could go either way. His face is scarred, perhaps from warfare or a rough childhood. It is no longer soft as it should be, but leathery and taut. His steely eyes are of the clearest blue and they have a piercing gaze as if a dagger was in your heart. His disgraced face is twisted into a sinister scowl and those eyes are its most prominent feature. His hair is charcoal colored and matted
> > as if it was straw poking out from underneath his hood. The volumnous hood serves to hide his face from the taunts of on-lookers. His clothes are that of the peasants that walk this god forsaken land, and could be mistaken for the garb of a petty thief at a glance. He seems to be sizing you up, his knuckles whitening on the hilt of his weapon, ready to strike at a moment's notice. He is repulsive but calculating to say the least.
> > Not blessed with the boyish good looks and charm that some flaunt, he seems to prefer walking the shadows, as he only periodically steps from within them to allow you this glance. He seems to prefer daggers, at least that's what you gather from the array of them hanging from his rag belt. He seems to mutter almost constantly, though you cannot tell what he's saying, if it is indeed anything at all. Unable to find rest on the side of good or evil, he sells himself to either side for his own gain.

> > ---------------------------

> > Formatting on that might be a little off, but that's much better than what you had. A description should only include what you might be able to tell from just a glance. For instance, if you're walking down the street and you glance at a lady, you can't tell what her father's name is, or why her face might be all deformed.

> > You might want to be more descriptive of the clothing. Also, including height, approximate weight, and so forth can be nice.

> > Also, this is a pet peeve of mine, but make sure the formatting is good. Try to make it all one block and not have it with one long line and then a line with 2 words in it.

> > Good:
> > blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
> > blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
> > blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
> > blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

> > Bad:
> > blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
> > blah blah
> > blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
> > blah blah blah blah

> > That drives me crazy.

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Comments:	> Another thing, to add on, always remember, your first line of text has your statline, so make it shorter. > Has anyone seen those descriptions that have pictures and stuff on them, I think those are a nice touch if they aren't that big. > Wanny > > > A nimble human assassin of spritely stature stands nearby. You cannot discern his allegiances or morality, he could go either way. His face is scarred, perhaps from warfare or a rough childhood. It is no longer soft as it should be, but leathery and taut. His steely eyes are of the clearest blue and they have a piercing gaze as if a dagger was in your heart. His disgraced face is twisted into a sinister scowl and those eyes are its most prominent feature. His hair is charcoal colored and matted > > > as if it was straw poking out from underneath his hood. The volumnous hood serves to hide his face from the taunts of on-lookers. His clothes are that of the peasants that walk this god forsaken land, and could be mistaken for the garb of a petty thief at a glance. He seems to be sizing you up, his knuckles whitening on the hilt of his weapon, ready to strike at a moment's notice. He is repulsive but calculating to say the least. > > > Not blessed with the boyish good looks and charm that some flaunt, he seems to prefer walking the shadows, as he only periodically steps from within them to allow you this glance. He seems to prefer daggers, at least that's what you gather from the array of them hanging from his rag belt. He seems to mutter almost constantly, though you cannot tell what he's saying, if it is indeed anything at all. Unable to find rest on the side of good or evil, he sells himself to either side for his own gain. > > > --------------------------- > > > Formatting on that might be a little off, but that's much better than what you had. A description should only include what you might be able to tell from just a glance. For instance, if you're walking down the street and you glance at a lady, you can't tell what her father's name is, or why her face might be all deformed. > > > You might want to be more descriptive of the clothing. Also, including height, approximate weight, and so forth can be nice. > > > Also, this is a pet peeve of mine, but make sure the formatting is good. Try to make it all one block and not have it with one long line and then a line with 2 words in it. > > > Good: > > > blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah > > > blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah > > > blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah > > > blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah > > > Bad: > > > blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah > > > blah blah > > > blah blah blah blah blah blah blah > > > blah blah blah blah > > > That drives me crazy.

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