Posted by Macheath the Invisible Touch on September 26, 1999 at 16:28:33:
For the better part of two years, I was totally addicted to CF. Utterly, entirely, and completely. I still could be, I suppose, were I not in the real life situation that I am. The sudden and harsh realization that playing CF 18 hours per day at this point in my life does not fit in with my plans for the future was shocking to me.
I still think I could enjoy the game. Especially being an immortal. I've got so many ideas, so many areas I want to write... I just cannot sacrifice the time to do so right now. To do that would be to jeopardize what I hope will be a successful final few years of college, and eventually, a halfway decent working life. And when you weigh something like that against CF from a realistic viewpoint, it's so lopsided it scares you.
The problem is that I have an obsessive personality. I can't do something like this in moderation, and I can't play this game "a little bit." I could try to play just as an imm and log on only once in a while, while writing my areas in the spare time I have. But what would that lead to? I would surely want to roll up a character from time to time, and not be able to avoid it. And what would happen if Macheath ranked and got a religion? I shudder to think of all the newbies that'd sit and wait for hours and hours and weeks and weeks for empowerment, never getting it because I never show up.
Well, it was inevitable. I tried to make a clean break, and I ended up checking out the forum for old time's sake. Thus, this post. Here's a list of the characters I've had, in the hopes that some of you enjoyed some of them, and that I can finally bury them and quit for good. In those hopes, anyway.
[51 Elf Hea] [ARBITER] Woru, Holy Hand of Justice, Arbiter Lord
(tattooed by Bria)
Born on the streets of Galadon, Woru's early life was one met with the challenges of everyday life in a criminal-infested world. He grew to hate crime and outlaws, and wanted only to join the Arbiter cabal in order to help bring these cancers to an end.
Does that sound familiar to any current or past arbiter lords? It should. I think one out of every three arbiters since Justice was around has used this story, or a slight variation of it. Give me a break, though! This was my first try at a real character (i.e. not one that was rolled up with no other goal than trying to figure out how to rank past 20). To me, at that time, it seemed like a really really good role. :P
Woru was where I learned essentially everything I know about CF. By the time he heroed, I was nearly the infinite repository of knowledge that I am now. :P But seriously... I grew as a player in both aspects of the game ("PK", which to me is everything in the technical side of the game, and "RP" which is the rest) while Woru lived until he could be called a respectable character. Over his 1500+ year life, I'd allowed him to be influenced by so many things, to grow so many life-story tangents, that he was a living, breathing person. Playing a healer before anything else, as a player, I became an RP glutton that had no real ability to PK until some time later.
When I think back, this was probably my most well-loved character. I miss him and regret where his role eventually led him. (That being Woru the Outcast, Betrayer of Law, friendless, penniless, and empowermentless.) But, really, I'd played the silly healer for close to 800 hours by the time his value system had decayed enough to do what he did.
Which, for those of you who don't know, was group with entropists on several occasions. His best friends, at the time of his unempowerment and age-death, were Guiseppe and Ygnacio.
[51 Felar War] [SYLVAN] Hargrave the Wrath of the Trees, Vampire-Slayer
(tattooed by Andaren)
The next character I rolled after Woru had to be kickass. He had to be able to kill anything that moved, and to hell with roleplay; I wanted to be a PK powerhouse!
Well, we all have to make settlements from time to time.
So I ended up with Hargrave. What a fun character. He started out as I'd hoped, kicking ass and taking names. I could jump groups of three or four or five, and end up on top during Hargrave's early (up to the time he heroed) life. I even got to have a good time roleplaying. What more could I ask for? Hargrave played a large role in Faruq's story, and saved the city of New Thalos from a huge invading force (nearly) singlehandedly. (To this day, I don't know why I, as a sylvan warder, put forth so much effort to keep wave after wave of orcs and goblins from reaching the gate, and finally, nearly dying to kill Vlad Drakov. I suppose it could have been because they were goblins and orcs and vampires, but in reality, I was just enjoying myself. :P)
I loved Sylvan. It was at an all-time high, membership-wise, and we had great fun. This was in the days of Jezral, you'll recall, so we were more concerned with killing stuff than anything else. :P I felt like I was part of a family, all the warders loved me, and Sylvan became my favorite cabal.
And then came The Decree.
Not too terribly long after I heroed, Twist and Jezral had their fated battle, and Magic and Nature were declared to be at odds. Istendil and his council of Shaitar, Allerya, Eriwal, and Remath (don't blame me if I don't have the right people together, it's been a damn year and a half) were in the tail end of their reign at this time, I believe (though Istendil would, of course, be around for very much longer). The likes of Mijzu, Qitrang, Zhreth, Iyalfialt, Sko, Trodden, Jarmel, Brinnin, Xivedir, Satrian, and a dozen others I'm forgetting were haunting the tower.
Sylvan went down hard. The heroes all con died or deleted, and I was suddenly not only the only Sylvan hero, but one of the few sylvans that showed up at all, of any rank.
Not only did I have to deal with this... I also moved to school about the same time, for my sophomore year of college, and had terrible, terrible modem problems. Hargrave had a difficult life from that point on, and his con dropped from 23 to about 6 in the next month. At that point, I discovered another way to log on to the internet (which, while it still gave me problems, was a vast improvement), and those last few con points held out for at least 100 hours, but it was too late. The damage had been done, and Hargrave's old heart finally gave out on him while defending the Battle cabal from a group of invincible magi, at roughly 450 hours.
[26 Human War] [BATTLE] Sarcomas the Greater Demon Slayer, Servant of the Phoenix
(no tattoo)
Well, I wanted to try something that ended up being way, way too complicated. Let that be a lesson to the vast majority of the playerbase: keep it simple. I was out to redefine the entire Theran value system with this character, now that I look back on it, and it turned out poorly. I was made neutral by Shokai (the first step on the road toward the light) and didn't receive any specs. I did, however, have an absolutely amazing set of gear, and a flawless pk record. Sarcomas was a little dynamo. I finally got what I seemingly wanted, at the end of Sarcomas' time... a PK character with no RP. Mainly because Shokai's computer blew up right about the time I was made neutral, and I was left halfway here and halfway there, but not able to progress any farther. Sarcomas became bitter and angry, and I simply threw myself at anything that moved (the prototypical "bloodthirst-and-walk-up-and-down-the-Eastern-Road" battlerager). Finally, I saw Inder and a large group coming, bloodthirsted into them without calling resist, and deleted. I guess PK characters with no RP aren't all they're cracked up to be. Sarcomas only gets mentioned because of an overly complicated role, a horrible name whose problems somehow didn't occur to me (Sarcoma? What's that?), and because he was my first attempt at a rager.
[51 D-Elf Hea] [SCARAB] Xaril the Unholy Archbishop, Eye of the Scarab
(tattooed by Scarabaeus)
I really loved Xaril. I poured everything I had into his role, and thought through every response I gave. I did my best to make him the most intelligent and least likable character in the game. Deleting him was a mistake, I think. I wasn't showing up enough, though, and Scarabaeus was unhappy... deletion seemed the best course of action at the time. Xaril was always supremely confident - to the point of arrogance - and had utter faith in his own skills and knowledge. Thus, the realization that his "Father" was disgusted with him horrified him to the point of suicide. No further explanation is necessary, I guess.
Being one of the founding fathers of the Scarab cabal was great, interacting with Scarab himself was even better. Nobody's better at giving you the creepy crawlies. Being one of the only two Eyes he's ever had (I think), I'll keep my duties secret... but trust me, working for the man is a privelage.
Xaril intimidated people with his words and ridiculed unintelligence wherever he saw it. One of the very few genuine emotions he recognized was despite, and he despised most everyone and everything. He spread the Word when he found it necessary, but deemed most unworthy of his Father's teachings. The Eye of the Scarab was a very cool, very fun role.
At his height, which encompassed nearly all of his life, Xaril had 1100 hps/mana, and hit/dam of 45+... and he needed it all to survive as a character everyone else in Thera hated. :P I deleted at about 250 hours when I realized I was doing a bad job as an elder of the religion.
[51 D-Elf Tra] [EMPIRE] Macheath the Faceless, Imperial High Arcanus
(tattooed by Jullias)
Macheath was, by far, my favorite character. Far too often, though, players will delete or die as a character like this, and then reveal every secret they had. Well, where's the fun in that? I've heard a lot of snippets of mysteries circulating about Macheath, and a surprising number of these myths contain a good degree of truth. Rather than tell it all and ruin the character, I'll let the story remain what it is... not really known.
What was public is this: Macheath was an unknown transmuter that rose through the ranks of Empire, eventually becoming the High Arcanus. He traveled through hell multiple times, once being thrown into a pit of boiling pitch and scarred beyond recognition for the rest of his life. Painful, eh? He was part of an Imperial Council (in Savryn, Alrin, Zulghinlour, Flarandros, and himself) that reigned over Thera in complete and terrifying dominance for as long as it cared to; the Empire hasn't seen glory like that since the council's departure, and hadn't since the days of Istendil, Llorenthos, and Eriwal. That sort of indicates that they may be in for another heyday relatively soon... but don't count on it.
It pains me to think that most people probably only remember Macheath as one person or another's "bitch muter," but at the same time, it shows me what a good job I did of concealing the truth. :P
Oh, there's so damn much I could tell you about this character just to show off. Unfortunately for my ego, I still respect CF enough to keep my mouth shut about certain things; some oaths are strong enough to hold even to the grave.
(And if that wasn't enough to entice you into wondering what on earth I'm talking about, I salute you.)
I became immortal at about 240 hours. At that point, I was (WANTED), and had never bloodoathed a single person. After that day, I was the only anathema imm the game's ever had (I think).
In Asgaard, I thoroughly enjoyed the company of Stellyx, Thror, Zulghinlour, Nepenthe, Jullias, Uller, ... and aw, damn, just about everybody. I'll miss being an immortal.
[36 Dwarf Sha] [SYLVAN] Harrek the Communer of Famine, First of Gareth
(tattooed by Gareth)
Harrek is a topic that's been hashed, rehashed, flamed, broiled, and minced over and over. I honestly did want to return to my favorite cabal, make a better attempt at following Sylvan's ideals than I had as Hargrave, and help bring the cabal back to a semblance of dominance. That didn't happen. Things had changed too much by the time Harrek came around. I really thought Voss (who had been around since Hargrave's late life) liked me... but then Hilaene took over, and I suddenly felt very unloved. When it became obvious that I wasn't a character which remained consistent with the rest of the cabal, I deleted.
That seems to be a theme, doesn't it? I screw up, am no longer doing my job, and delete. I fought hard for Sylvan, but Sylvan didn't want or need my services. They'd actually become what they used to simply say they were: a pacifist cabal.
And then Sebeok stopped talking to me as Macheath. I think it was when he realized I was Harrek. :P
[22 Elf Inv] [None] Eloriane the Enchantress
(no tattoo)
It was hard to follow up what I thought was an immense success in Macheath with a stinging defeat like Harrek. Despite his 20:1 pk ratio and pretty gear, which I'd always thought were things I wanted, I didn't like the character. Why? Because I wasn't liked by those I wanted to be liked by.
So what'd I do? I immediately tried for Sylvan again. I rolled Eloriane with a deep role in mind, which I'm not going to bother going into here, because she's only on this list for two reasons. The first reason is that I perfected every spell up to 22, and I was proud of that for some reason. The second reason is that she was my second consecutive failed character. I wanted to get Nepenthe's tattoo and get into Sylvan, but I couldn't find Nepenthe or Hilaene. I finally let her autodelete out of boredom.
She was female for two reasons, too. One was her role, which as I said, I'm not going into. The other was that I wanted Nepenthe's tattoo. (Sorry, Nep. :P)
[26 Felar War] [BATTLE] Iati the Greater Demon Slayer
(no tattoo)
And finally, Iati. I perfected damn near everything, got into Battle, and then logged on twice after my induction. I found out that felar spear specs aren't as well suited to Battle as a giant axe spec might be. I made a helluva lot of people flee, but hardly killed anyone. There was no oomph. I had a good role, but it went largely unexplored because nobody was interested in it, or in me. I wanted Cador's tattoo, but never got to the point in life that I was shooting for: that point at which I felt I'd be ready to approach The Man. I lost my interest in mortal life and began playing Macheath almost exclusively. Then I stopped playing CF altogether when I realized what I did about my life.
The moral of the story is this, then: stick to RP, it'll make you happier longer. Another moral might be: play only evil characters, you can have fun without dealing with moral judgements and humility. :P
Ah, well. Maybe once I'm out of school and working for a living, I'll start CF again. Or maybe I'll flunk out of school and live in my parents' basement, and start CF again. For now, though... this is pretty much goodbye. I had a little impact on Thera from time to time, and hopefully occasionally made my mark here and there. There were a lot of characters that fluffed out, though, too (note the string of sucky characters that contributed to my ability to quit - if my last character had been something I enjoyed like I did Macheath, I'd probably still be playing now). If you know you need to quit CF, and you find yourself playing a series of characters that bore you into deleting them... that's a good time to try going cold turkey!
Ciao, buddies, and I sincerely hope some of you say hello from time to time.
ICQ#: 5689489
Email: macheath77@hotmail.com / covib@uwec.edu