Now that is funny...NT

Now that is funny...NT:
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Posted by Xzortok on December 21, 1999 at 08:34:30:

In Reply to: who said there's more to playing a warrior than dirt and disarm? posted by Joshu on December 21, 1999 at 06:45:44:

> Fight #1:

> People near you:
> (PK) Yaslov Along the Eastern Road
> (PK) Szendril Beyond the outskirts of Galadon
> Jalen Along the Eastern Road

> <629hp 387m 232mv> You scan east.
> ***** Range 4 *****
> Yaslov is here.

>
> <629hp 387m 232mv> whe
> People near you:
> (PK) Yaslov Along the Eastern Road
> (PK) Szendril Beyond the outskirts of Galadon
> Jalen Along the Eastern Road

> <629hp 387m 232mv> z e
> You scan east.
> ***** Range 4 *****
> Yaslov is here.

>
> <629hp 387m 232mv> e
> Beyond the outskirts of Galadon
>
> [Exits: east west]

> <629hp 387m 231mv> z e
> You scan east.
> ***** Range 3 *****
> Yaslov is here.

>
> <629hp 387m 231mv> e
> Along the Eastern Road
>
> [Exits: east west]

> <629hp 387m 230mv> z e
> You scan east.
> ***** Range 2 *****
> Yaslov is here.

>
> <629hp 387m 230mv> whe
> People near you:
> (PK) Yaslov Along the Eastern Road
> (PK) Szendril Along the Eastern Road
> Jalen Along the Eastern Road

> <629hp 387m 230mv> aff

> Yaslov has arrived.
> You yell 'Help! I am being attacked by Yaslov!'
> You dodge Yaslov's blast.
> Yaslov is in perfect health.

> <629hp 387m 230mv> You are affected by:
> Skill: 'warcry' modifies save vs spell by -8 for 5 hours.
> Skill: 'warcry' modifies hit roll by 4 for 5 hours.
> Yaslov is in perfect health.

> <629hp 387m 230mv> z e
> You scan east.
> Yaslov is in perfect health.

> <629hp 387m 230mv> dirt
> Yaslov is blinded by the dirt in his eyes!
> Your kicked dirt scratches Yaslov.
> Yaslov has a few scratches.

> <629hp 387m 230mv>
> You parry Yaslov's blast.
> Yaslov's wrath DISMEMBERS you!
> Yaslov's wrath DISMEMBERS you!
> Yaslov parries your slice.
> Yaslov parries your slice.
> Your cleave EVISCERATES Yaslov!
> Yaslov has a few scratches.

> <503hp 387m 230mv> dis

>
> Yaslov drums at you with his maces.
> Yaslov's drumming maces MANGLES you!
> Yaslov's drumming maces MASSACRES you!
> Yaslov has a few scratches.

> <344hp 387m 230mv>

> You parry Yaslov's blast.
> You parry Yaslov's blast.
> Yaslov delivers a blow of deadly force!
> You parry Yaslov's blast.
> You parry Yaslov's blast and return an attack of your own.
> Your slice MASSACRES Yaslov!
> Yaslov dodges your slice.
> Yaslov parries your slice.
> Your cleave DISMEMBERS Yaslov!
> Yaslov has some small but disgusting cuts.

> <344hp 387m 230mv>

>
> You disarm Yaslov!
> Yaslov has some small but disgusting cuts.

> <344hp 387m 230mv>

>
> You parry Yaslov's punch and return an attack of your own.
> Your slice DISMEMBERS Yaslov!
> You parry Yaslov's punch.
> You parry Yaslov's punch.
> Your slice DISMEMBERS Yaslov!
> Yaslov dodges your slice.
> Yaslov dodges your slice.
> Yaslov is covered with bleeding wounds.

> <344hp 387m 230mv> g 1.

>
> bash

>
> You parry Yaslov's punch.
> You parry Yaslov's punch.
> You parry Yaslov's punch.
> Yaslov dodges your slice.
> Your cleave DISMEMBERS Yaslov!
> Yaslov dodges your slice.
> Your slice DISMEMBERS Yaslov!
> Yaslov is gushing blood.

> <344hp 387m 230mv>

>
> You can't see a thing!
> Someone's kicked dirt grazes you.
> Someone is gushing blood.

> <339hp 387m 230mv>

> Someone is gushing blood.

> <339hp 387m 230mv> I see no 1. here.
> Someone is gushing blood.

> <339hp 387m 230mv> bash
> You slam into someone, and send it flying!
> Your bash hits someone.
> You parry someone's punch.
> You parry someone's punch.
> You parry someone's punch and return an attack of your own.
> Your slice MASSACRES someone!
> Someone dodges your slice.
> Your cleave EVISCERATES someone!
> Your cleave MASSACRES someone!
> Someone is writhing in agony.

> <339hp 387m 230mv>

> You parry someone's punch and return an attack of your own.
> Your slice DISMEMBERS someone!
> You parry someone's punch.
> Someone dodges your slice.
> Someone dodges your slice.
> Someone dodges your slice.
> Someone dodges your slice.
> Someone is convulsing on the ground.

> <339hp 387m 230mv> bash

> You parry someone's punch.
> You parry someone's punch.
> You parry someone's punch.
> Your slice MASSACRES someone!
> Your cleave MASSACRES someone!
> Someone is DEAD!!
> You hear someone's death cry.

> <339hp 387m 230mv>

>
> But you aren't fighting anyone!

> <339hp 387m 230mv> But you aren't fighting anyone!

> <339hp 387m 230mv>

>
> <339hp 387m 230mv> l

> <339hp 387m 230mv>

>
> <339hp 387m 230mv>
> You can't see a thing!

> <339hp 387m 230mv>
> You rub the dirt out of your eyes.

> <350hp 387m 267mv>
> <350hp 387m 267mv>
> <350hp 387m 267mv> x corpse
> #OK EXECUTING SHELL COMMAND.
> #OK COMMAND EXECUTED.
> >
> [EMPIRE] the Centurion Omegus: Our conquest is yet assured, though Fallon leaves us.

> <350hp 387m 267mv> sac mace
> The corpse of Yaslov is lying here.
> When you look inside, you see:
> The corpse of Yaslov contains:
> (Humming) the Shock Whip
> a seashell ring
> a blue sapphire ring
> an ivory bracelet
> a metal canteen insulated in a wolf's pelt
> (Humming) a blacksmith's forge hammer
> (Humming) a heavy mace
> (Humming) a black enameled breastplate
> serpent-scale leggings
> razor ring
> a pair of scorched iron arm guards
> an adamantite bracer
> the belt of life
> a skin from the snow leopard
> a pair of adamantite boots
> (Glowing) (Humming) an amulet of the Viper
> the Helm of Ancient Red Dragonscales
> a pair of spiked gauntlets
> ( 2) some beef jerky
> blood-soaked cape
> a water skin
> a glass of mage blood
> 8987 gold coins

> <350hp 387m 267mv> Your hands burn at the thought of touching that.

> <350hp 387m 267mv> g gold corpse
> You get 8987 gold coins from the corpse of Yaslov.

>
> ---------------------------------------------

> Fight #2 (a little later the same day):

> <649hp 338m 104mv> n
> The Imperial Road
>
> [Exits: north south]
> Yaslov is here.

> <649hp 338m 103mv> whe
> dt
> People near you:
> (PK) Yaslov The Imperial Road
> (PK) Szendril The Imperial Road

> <649hp 338m 103mv> Yaslov is blinded by the dirt in his eyes!
> You fade into existence.
> Your kicked dirt scratches Yaslov.
> Yaslov yells 'Someone just kicked dirt in my eyes!'
> Yaslov is covered with bleeding wounds.

> <649hp 338m 103mv> dis

>
> Yaslov's kicked dirt misses you.
> You parry Yaslov's blast.
> You parry Yaslov's blast.
> Yaslov dodges your stab.
> Yaslov parries your stab.
> Your stab devastates Yaslov!
> Your stab decimates Yaslov!
> Yaslov is covered with bleeding wounds.

> <649hp 338m 103mv>

>
> You parry Yaslov's blast and return an attack of your own.
> Your stab maims Yaslov!
> You dodge Yaslov's blast.
> Your stab decimates Yaslov!
> Yaslov parries your stab.
> Yaslov dodges your stab.
> Your stab mauls Yaslov.
> Yaslov is covered with bleeding wounds.

> <649hp 338m 103mv>

> You disarm Yaslov!
> Yaslov is covered with bleeding wounds.

> <649hp 338m 103mv>

> You feel less protected.
> Yaslov is covered with bleeding wounds.

> <649hp 345m 140mv> bt

>
> You parry Yaslov's punch.
> You parry Yaslov's punch.
> Your stab decimates Yaslov!
> Yaslov dodges your stab.
> Your stab MUTILATES Yaslov!
> Yaslov dodges your stab.
> Yaslov is gushing blood.

> <649hp 345m 140mv>

>
> You can't see a thing!
> Someone's kicked dirt scratches you.
> Someone is gushing blood.

> <645hp 345m 140mv>

> bash

> You parry someone's punch and return an attack of your own.
> Your stab decimates someone!
> You parry someone's punch.
> Someone dodges your stab.
> Someone dodges your stab.
> Someone is gushing blood.

> <645hp 345m 140mv>

> Someone is gushing blood.

> <645hp 345m 140mv>

> They aren't here.
> Someone is gushing blood.

> <645hp 345m 140mv>
> You slam into someone, and send it flying!
> Your bash grazes someone.
> Someone is gushing blood.

> <645hp 345m 140mv>

> You parry someone's punch.
> You parry someone's punch.
> You parry someone's punch.
> You parry someone's punch.
> Your stab devastates someone!
> Someone dodges your stab.
> Someone is gushing blood.

> <645hp 345m 140mv> bash

> Someone gets something.
> Someone is gushing blood.

> <645hp 345m 140mv>

> Someone tries to disarm you, but fails.
> Someone is gushing blood.

> <645hp 345m 140mv>

>
> You parry someone's punch.
> You parry someone's punch.
> You parry someone's punch.
> You parry someone's punch.
> Someone dodges your stab.
> Someone dodges your stab.
> Your stab decimates someone!
> The snow stops falling.
> Someone is gushing blood.

> <645hp 345m 140mv>

>
> Someone has arrived.
> Someone is gushing blood.

> <645hp 345m 140mv> You slam into someone, and send it flying!
> Your bash injures someone.
> Someone is writhing in agony.

> <645hp 345m 140mv> dirt

> You parry someone's punch.
> You parry someone's punch and return an attack of your own.
> Your stab maims someone!
> You parry someone's punch.
> Your stab maims someone!
> Your stab MUTILATES someone!
> Someone dodges your stab.
> Someone is convulsing on the ground.

> <645hp 345m 140mv>

>
> You rub the dirt out of your eyes.
> Yaslov is convulsing on the ground.

> <649hp 351m 177mv>

> #Ok. {zz} aliases {dash north bt}.
> #OK EXECUTING SHELL COMMAND.

> #OK COMMAND EXECUTED.
> > #OK EXECUTING SHELL COMMAND.
> #OK COMMAND EXECUTED.
> >
> You get in one more shot on Yaslov as he flees.
> Your parting blow MUTILATES Yaslov!
> Yaslov leaves north.
> Yaslov has fled!
> An Imperial Centurion yells 'Yaslov! Now you die!'
> [EMPIRE] an Imperial Centurion: Help! Yaslov is attacking me!
> An Imperial Centurion yells 'Yaslov! Now you die!'
> [EMPIRE] an Imperial Centurion: Help! Yaslov is attacking me!

> <649hp 351m 177mv>

> bt

> But you aren't fighting anyone!

> <649hp 351m 177mv>

> They aren't here.

> <649hp 351m 177mv>
> Tokugawa leaves north.

> <649hp 351m 177mv>
> You hear someone's death cry.

> <649hp 351m 177mv>
> <649hp 351m 177mv> n
> The Imperial Road
>
> [Exits: north south]
> The corpse of Yaslov is lying here.
> (Invis) Tokugawa is here.
> A Centurion stands here collecting the tithe for the Empire.
> A Centurion stands here collecting the tithe for the Empire.

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Comments:	> > Fight #1: > > People near you: > > (PK) Yaslov Along the Eastern Road > > (PK) Szendril Beyond the outskirts of Galadon > > Jalen Along the Eastern Road > > <629hp 387m 232mv> You scan east. > > *** Range 4 * > > Yaslov is here. > > > > <629hp 387m 232mv> whe > > People near you: > > (PK) Yaslov Along the Eastern Road > > (PK) Szendril Beyond the outskirts of Galadon > > Jalen Along the Eastern Road > > <629hp 387m 232mv> z e > > You scan east. > > * Range 4 * > > Yaslov is here. > > > > <629hp 387m 232mv> e > > Beyond the outskirts of Galadon > > > > [Exits: east west] > > <629hp 387m 231mv> z e > > You scan east. > > * Range 3 * > > Yaslov is here. > > > > <629hp 387m 231mv> e > > Along the Eastern Road > > > > [Exits: east west] > > <629hp 387m 230mv> z e > > You scan east. > > * Range 2 *** > > Yaslov is here. > > > > <629hp 387m 230mv> whe > > People near you: > > (PK) Yaslov Along the Eastern Road > > (PK) Szendril Along the Eastern Road > > Jalen Along the Eastern Road > > <629hp 387m 230mv> aff > > Yaslov has arrived. > > You yell 'Help! I am being attacked by Yaslov!' > > You dodge Yaslov's blast. > > Yaslov is in perfect health. > > <629hp 387m 230mv> You are affected by: > > Skill: 'warcry' modifies save vs spell by -8 for 5 hours. > > Skill: 'warcry' modifies hit roll by 4 for 5 hours. > > Yaslov is in perfect health. > > <629hp 387m 230mv> z e > > You scan east. > > Yaslov is in perfect health. > > <629hp 387m 230mv> dirt > > Yaslov is blinded by the dirt in his eyes! > > Your kicked dirt scratches Yaslov. > > Yaslov has a few scratches. > > <629hp 387m 230mv> > > You parry Yaslov's blast. > > Yaslov's wrath DISMEMBERS you! > > Yaslov's wrath DISMEMBERS you! > > Yaslov parries your slice. > > Yaslov parries your slice. > > Your cleave EVISCERATES Yaslov! > > Yaslov has a few scratches. > > <503hp 387m 230mv> dis > > > > Yaslov drums at you with his maces. > > Yaslov's drumming maces MANGLES you! > > Yaslov's drumming maces MASSACRES you! > > Yaslov has a few scratches. > > <344hp 387m 230mv> > > > You parry Yaslov's blast. > > You parry Yaslov's blast. > > Yaslov delivers a blow of deadly force! > > You parry Yaslov's blast. > > You parry Yaslov's blast and return an attack of your own. > > Your slice MASSACRES Yaslov! > > Yaslov dodges your slice. > > Yaslov parries your slice. > > Your cleave DISMEMBERS Yaslov! > > Yaslov has some small but disgusting cuts. > > <344hp 387m 230mv> > > > > > You disarm Yaslov! > > Yaslov has some small but disgusting cuts. > > <344hp 387m 230mv> > > > > You parry Yaslov's punch and return an attack of your own. > > Your slice DISMEMBERS Yaslov! > > You parry Yaslov's punch. > > You parry Yaslov's punch. > > Your slice DISMEMBERS Yaslov! > > Yaslov dodges your slice. > > Yaslov dodges your slice. > > Yaslov is covered with bleeding wounds. > > <344hp 387m 230mv> g 1. > > > > bash > > > > You parry Yaslov's punch. > > You parry Yaslov's punch. > > You parry Yaslov's punch. > > Yaslov dodges your slice. > > Your cleave DISMEMBERS Yaslov! > > Yaslov dodges your slice. > > Your slice DISMEMBERS Yaslov! > > Yaslov is gushing blood. > > <344hp 387m 230mv> > > > > You can't see a thing! > > Someone's kicked dirt grazes you. > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <339hp 387m 230mv> > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <339hp 387m 230mv> I see no 1. here. > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <339hp 387m 230mv> bash > > You slam into someone, and send it flying! > > Your bash hits someone. > > You parry someone's punch. > > You parry someone's punch. > > You parry someone's punch and return an attack of your own. > > Your slice MASSACRES someone! > > Someone dodges your slice. > > Your cleave EVISCERATES someone! > > Your cleave MASSACRES someone! > > Someone is writhing in agony. > > <339hp 387m 230mv> > > You parry someone's punch and return an attack of your own. > > Your slice DISMEMBERS someone! > > You parry someone's punch. > > Someone dodges your slice. > > Someone dodges your slice. > > Someone dodges your slice. > > Someone dodges your slice. > > Someone is convulsing on the ground. > > <339hp 387m 230mv> bash > > > You parry someone's punch. > > You parry someone's punch. > > You parry someone's punch. > > Your slice MASSACRES someone! > > Your cleave MASSACRES someone! > > Someone is DEAD!! > > You hear someone's death cry. > > <339hp 387m 230mv> > > > > But you aren't fighting anyone! > > <339hp 387m 230mv> But you aren't fighting anyone! > > <339hp 387m 230mv> > > > > <339hp 387m 230mv> l > > <339hp 387m 230mv> > > > > <339hp 387m 230mv> > > You can't see a thing! > > <339hp 387m 230mv> > > You rub the dirt out of your eyes. > > <350hp 387m 267mv> > > <350hp 387m 267mv> > > <350hp 387m 267mv> x corpse > > #OK EXECUTING SHELL COMMAND. > > #OK COMMAND EXECUTED. > > > > > [EMPIRE] the Centurion Omegus: Our conquest is yet assured, though Fallon leaves us. > > <350hp 387m 267mv> sac mace > > The corpse of Yaslov is lying here. > > When you look inside, you see: > > The corpse of Yaslov contains: > > (Humming) the Shock Whip > > a seashell ring > > a blue sapphire ring > > an ivory bracelet > > a metal canteen insulated in a wolf's pelt > > (Humming) a blacksmith's forge hammer > > (Humming) a heavy mace > > (Humming) a black enameled breastplate > > serpent-scale leggings > > razor ring > > a pair of scorched iron arm guards > > an adamantite bracer > > the belt of life > > a skin from the snow leopard > > a pair of adamantite boots > > (Glowing) (Humming) an amulet of the Viper > > the Helm of Ancient Red Dragonscales > > a pair of spiked gauntlets > > ( 2) some beef jerky > > blood-soaked cape > > a water skin > > a glass of mage blood > > 8987 gold coins > > <350hp 387m 267mv> Your hands burn at the thought of touching that. > > <350hp 387m 267mv> g gold corpse > > You get 8987 gold coins from the corpse of Yaslov. > > > > --------------------------------------------- > > Fight #2 (a little later the same day): > > <649hp 338m 104mv> n > > The Imperial Road > > > > [Exits: north south] > > Yaslov is here. > > <649hp 338m 103mv> whe > > dt > > People near you: > > (PK) Yaslov The Imperial Road > > (PK) Szendril The Imperial Road > > <649hp 338m 103mv> Yaslov is blinded by the dirt in his eyes! > > You fade into existence. > > Your kicked dirt scratches Yaslov. > > Yaslov yells 'Someone just kicked dirt in my eyes!' > > Yaslov is covered with bleeding wounds. > > <649hp 338m 103mv> dis > > > > Yaslov's kicked dirt misses you. > > You parry Yaslov's blast. > > You parry Yaslov's blast. > > Yaslov dodges your stab. > > Yaslov parries your stab. > > Your stab devastates Yaslov! > > Your stab decimates Yaslov! > > Yaslov is covered with bleeding wounds. > > <649hp 338m 103mv> > > > > > You parry Yaslov's blast and return an attack of your own. > > Your stab maims Yaslov! > > You dodge Yaslov's blast. > > Your stab decimates Yaslov! > > Yaslov parries your stab. > > Yaslov dodges your stab. > > Your stab mauls Yaslov. > > Yaslov is covered with bleeding wounds. > > <649hp 338m 103mv> > > > You disarm Yaslov! > > Yaslov is covered with bleeding wounds. > > <649hp 338m 103mv> > > > You feel less protected. > > Yaslov is covered with bleeding wounds. > > <649hp 345m 140mv> bt > > > > You parry Yaslov's punch. > > You parry Yaslov's punch. > > Your stab decimates Yaslov! > > Yaslov dodges your stab. > > Your stab MUTILATES Yaslov! > > Yaslov dodges your stab. > > Yaslov is gushing blood. > > <649hp 345m 140mv> > > > > You can't see a thing! > > Someone's kicked dirt scratches you. > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <645hp 345m 140mv> > > bash > > You parry someone's punch and return an attack of your own. > > Your stab decimates someone! > > You parry someone's punch. > > Someone dodges your stab. > > Someone dodges your stab. > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <645hp 345m 140mv> > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <645hp 345m 140mv> > > They aren't here. > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <645hp 345m 140mv> > > You slam into someone, and send it flying! > > Your bash grazes someone. > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <645hp 345m 140mv> > > You parry someone's punch. > > You parry someone's punch. > > You parry someone's punch. > > You parry someone's punch. > > Your stab devastates someone! > > Someone dodges your stab. > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <645hp 345m 140mv> bash > > Someone gets something. > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <645hp 345m 140mv> > > > Someone tries to disarm you, but fails. > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <645hp 345m 140mv> > > > > You parry someone's punch. > > You parry someone's punch. > > You parry someone's punch. > > You parry someone's punch. > > Someone dodges your stab. > > Someone dodges your stab. > > Your stab decimates someone! > > The snow stops falling. > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <645hp 345m 140mv> > > > > Someone has arrived. > > Someone is gushing blood. > > <645hp 345m 140mv> You slam into someone, and send it flying! > > Your bash injures someone. > > Someone is writhing in agony. > > <645hp 345m 140mv> dirt > > You parry someone's punch. > > You parry someone's punch and return an attack of your own. > > Your stab maims someone! > > You parry someone's punch. > > Your stab maims someone! > > Your stab MUTILATES someone! > > Someone dodges your stab. > > Someone is convulsing on the ground. > > <645hp 345m 140mv> > > > > > You rub the dirt out of your eyes. > > Yaslov is convulsing on the ground. > > <649hp 351m 177mv> > > #Ok. {zz} aliases {dash north bt}. > > #OK EXECUTING SHELL COMMAND. > > #OK COMMAND EXECUTED. > > > #OK EXECUTING SHELL COMMAND. > > #OK COMMAND EXECUTED. > > > > > You get in one more shot on Yaslov as he flees. > > Your parting blow MUTILATES Yaslov! > > Yaslov leaves north. > > Yaslov has fled! > > An Imperial Centurion yells 'Yaslov! Now you die!' > > [EMPIRE] an Imperial Centurion: Help! Yaslov is attacking me! > > An Imperial Centurion yells 'Yaslov! Now you die!' > > [EMPIRE] an Imperial Centurion: Help! Yaslov is attacking me! > > <649hp 351m 177mv> > > > bt > > But you aren't fighting anyone! > > <649hp 351m 177mv> > > They aren't here. > > <649hp 351m 177mv> > > Tokugawa leaves north. > > <649hp 351m 177mv> > > You hear someone's death cry. > > <649hp 351m 177mv> > > <649hp 351m 177mv> n > > The Imperial Road > > > > [Exits: north south] > > The corpse of Yaslov is lying here. > > (Invis) Tokugawa is here. > > A Centurion stands here collecting the tithe for the Empire. > > A Centurion stands here collecting the tithe for the Empire.

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