Posted by Snickers on July 18, 2000 at 12:09:35:
In Reply to: Very, very cool. For some reason I automatically mentally read this in Christopher Walken's voice. :P n/t posted by Macheath on July 17, 2000 at 16:14:37:
> > > > Comfortable? > > Are you cold? There are goosebumps on your arms. Here, let me add a few > > There. Is that better? Never let it be said that Ealion Valdare was less > > Are you wondering why you're here? Yes, I see you are. Let me tell you a > > It was, oh, early spring in the year of the Long Sun, and there was a young > > You look thirsty. Here, would you like a glass of wine? Ah, you shake your > > Yes, a fine vintage. Year of the Black Jackal, if I'm any judge. Now, where > > You disagree? But of course it was an honor to her, and not to him. He > > Now I must insist that you stop interrupting me. We'll never finish this > > Ah, yes, I see you understand now. Very good. > > Of course, she spurned my friend's offer at first. He understood. She was > > Ah, you cannot speak? No matter. I see the agreement in your eyes. > > You understand, then, how inconceivable my friend found it when she turned > > You seem tense with anger. Yes, I understand. You would curse the wench who > > Yes, and so would any reasonable man. But love makes fools of us all. My > > Yes, my friend was quite an expert in the subtle art of bondage. I believe > > Well, then. My friend gently took his guests and carried them to the sitting > > Iron is a fascinating metal, don't you think? Time permitting, I hope to > > My friend untied and ungagged the girl, then, and spoke to her quietly. He > > A truly reasonable proposition, under the circumstances, wouldn't you agree? > > Unfortunately, when my friend removed the gag, he found that the silly girl > > And so, you understand, he had to kill her. Because he loved her, you see. > > And so my little tale comes to an end. You understand, don't you? There > > Of course you understand. I can see it in the depths of your eyes, though > > Ah, the fire is burning down. No matter. The irons are sufficiently heated, > > You put up something of a fight, but your silly magic didn't make that much > > Comfortable? > > Then we'll begin.
> > Ah, there you are.
> > logs to the fire.
> > than courteous to a guest.
> > little story, then. It may help to ease your mind.
> > man - you wonder who this man was? Oh, his name is unimportant. Let's just
> > call him a good friend of mine - living in Seantryn Modan. My friend was a
> > fine-featured man, strong and clean-limbed, and possessed of a great beauty,
> > and most all the young girls vied for his affections. Oh, yes, envious and
> > jealous men spread dastardly rumors to lure the women away. Silly things
> > about a necromancer father, or a hereditary strain of insanity in the blood-
> > line... oh, you know the kinds of things people say. Ridiculous claims that
> > no one of any sense pays any attention to.
> > head? Of course, I'm being foolish, you can't take wine in that fashion.
> > Just a sip for myself, then, to dry my throat.
> > was I? Oh, yes. We were talking about my friend from Seantryn Modan, were
> > we not? Yes, well, you can surely understand that such a fine young man as
> > my friend deserved a girl worthy of his beauty. And, of course, he found
> > the only girl in all Thera deserving of him. She was the daughter of an elf,
> > a mere merchant whose ships brought goods from ports all around the Aryth
> > Ocean, but her great beauty made up for her humble station, and my friend
> > made up his mind to offer her the honor of his hand in marriage.
> > was the most brilliant, handsome man in all of the South Continent, and she
> > was only a girl, and an elf girl at that. And not even of noble blood.
> > little discussion if you keep trying to interject your own comments, don't
> > you agree?
> > new to the city. She didn't know what a brilliant match this would be. So
> > he condescended to convince her and woo her with soft words, telling her of
> > his great beauty, of his unsurpassed intelligence and prospects. He spoke
> > of his generousity to the poor and kindness to the commoners, how he
> > benevolently granted the gift of his favors to even the lowest station of
> > young women, should they be comely. He told her how he would lavish gifts
> > upon her and house her in the finest of mansions, and how she would be envied
> > by all the city. You comprehend, don't you, what a fine offer this was?
> > him down - and not with the humility befitting her rank, but with loud-voiced
> > scorn and disdain. She claimed, in her arrogance, that my friend was a boor,
> > a pig and a dolt, bereft of intelligence, manners and common sense alike.
> > Even more, incredible as it sounds, she claimed he was a low-born peasant -
> > an elf, and an elf maiden, with the hubris to call a true man low-born?
> > Finally, she told him that he lacked all capability for magic, and, as such,
> > was less worthy of her than the least of street illusionists!
> > dared speak with such unthinking insolence, wouldn't you?
> > friend, in his loving mercy, chose to give the girl one more chance to
> > realize the brillance of the offer she'd spurned. He'd thought past his
> > righteous anger and found the clue to her foolishness in her words regarding
> > magic. A silly thing, magic. Completely useless, a toy for children and the
> > lesser races, don't you agree? And that, then, was the answer. The girl was
> > surrounded by elves, who, unable to master the arts of true men, convince
> > themselves of the value of their conjury. It was left only to show her how
> > foolish this admiration was, and she would repent of her effrontery. Now, my
> > friend was a highly trained assassin - oh, you seem surprised. Did I not
> > mention that little detail? - and it was an easy night's work to slip past
> > the hired guards, come upon her family sleeping, and secure each of them with
> > rope and gags.
> > I share a little of his gift for it, wouldn't you agree?
> > room, where he awoke his love with a kiss. Oh, there was nothing magical
> > about the timing. He'd measured the doses of the sleeping drug with great
> > caution. He'd hoped showing her how easily he had defeated the wards and
> > such would convince her how ridiculous her approbation of sorcery was. But
> > she refused to see sense, and only glared sulkily at him, so he moved on to
> > the next part of his demonstration.
> > demonstrate some of its more estoric uses... ah, but I digress. Suffice to
> > say that the inferiority of the elven race is revealed in their reaction to
> > this harmless substance. My friend was an excellent assassin, as he was
> > excellent in everything he attempted, and of course he had brought with him
> > a fine dagger of this element. And with this dagger, he graphically demon-
> > strated the futility of sorcery. Her mother and father, particularly,
> > refused to accept their foreordained fate. But their frantic chanting,
> > muffled, of course, by their gags, was of no avail when countered by sharp
> > iron, and their stifled chanting degenerated into stifled screams, thus to
> > stifled whimpers, and thus, in due course, to a stifled silence. Her sisters
> > and brothers were perhaps not as devoted to their trickery, as they elected
> > to bypass the chanting and begin directly with the screams. In a matter of
> > several hours, therefore, all was quiet.
> > was sorry, he said, that events had come to such a pass, but her senseless
> > stubbornness had brought it upon them. Now she had seen the futility of
> > the magic she had so far advocated. My friend's patience had come to an
> > end, he said. She would love and obey him, and accept the honor of his hand,
> > or she would be chastised severely.
> > Ah, but you are sweating. Is the fire too hot for you? Don't worry. There
> > are only a few more moments left in my tale. Pray attend.
> > still held fast to her unreasonable position. In fact, she refused even to
> > acknowledge his existence. Her wide green eyes rolled slowly in their
> > sockets, and a soft stream of indecipherable babble fell from her ruby lips.
> > All my friend's efforts at persuasion came to naught, and finally he was
> > forced to conclude that the loss of her illusions regarding sorcery was too
> > much for her fragile mind to bear.
> > Loved her too much to allow to remain in the state of insanity to which the
> > magic and the lies of magicians had left her in. So sorrowfully, he gave her
> > the gift she had foolishly refused, the gift of his favors, and when the act
> > was completed, he cut her throat, and cursing magic he left her lying there.
> > was nothing he could do for her but kill her. He'd acted with restraint and
> > reason throughout, but she was tainted by the magic that forced her to spurn
> > him. Yes, the magic was at fault. The mages were at fault. And so the
> > mages must be chastised, and the magic destroyed, don't you understand?
> > you cannot voice your agreement without your tongue. Perhaps you even
> > understand why you are my guest here, and comprehend a little of your own
> > fate.
> > and, if not, well.. they are iron, and you are an elf, after all.
> > of a difference in the end, did it?