Re: Druid description that needs some work... help wanted

Re: Druid description that needs some work... help wanted:
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Posted by Cassman on January 25, 2000 at 19:31:39:

In Reply to: Druid description that needs some work... help wanted posted by Nixsel on January 20, 2000 at 11:15:19:

I try not to change anyone's writing style, you write how you do, so I won't re-write it and tell you mines better...but a few suggestions...

emerald green eyes poke. The eyes of emerald green
**redundant**

A thin sliver of white rope is tied around his large waste glows brightly.
**Not very fluid, I had to read it a couple of times to get the meaning**

Again, I don't want to change what you have, and I am not bashing you, I don't know if English is your primary language or not...just my own opinions on it..

-Cassman-

PS Green Eyes and 'fiery' red beard are overdone, if you rewrite it, you might try something new (or not, he's your dude...)

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Comments:	> I try not to change anyone's writing style, you write how you do, so I won't re-write it and tell you mines better...but a few suggestions... > emerald green eyes poke. The eyes of emerald green > redundant > A thin sliver of white rope is tied around his large waste glows brightly. > Not very fluid, I had to read it a couple of times to get the meaning > Again, I don't want to change what you have, and I am not bashing you, I don't know if English is your primary language or not...just my own opinions on it.. > -Cassman- > PS Green Eyes and 'fiery' red beard are overdone, if you rewrite it, you might try something new (or not, he's your dude...)