Posted by A Chronicler on October 26, 2000 at 05:55:15:
In Reply to: I wrote this poem IRL, but I'm going to apply it to a bard I'm playing. I just want to know if you all find it worthy to be on CF posted by The Champ o Hearts (if you know the title you know who it is) on October 25, 2000 at 22:21:04:
Sorry to say, it sounds like your girlfriend needs professional help. Sometimes it works out that way. Maybe when she comes back up to the air again, instead of that dark netherworld she's inhabiting now, you'll be able to reconcile. Believe me, it's no fun being down there... I think the best part of the poem is the last stanza, with the three last stanzas (starting with the first "Slashed, cut, burned, bruised and raped...") are really the poem. Poetry doesn't have to explain what's happening, and this poem especially is about evoking a particular emotion, so stick with the strongest parts. To rhyme or not to rhyme.. in this poem, it is really unimportant. A stronger rhyming pattern might have made the poem seem a little silly. As it is, some parts seem like they could have better phrasing instead of rhyming ("If I have never fell.") Rhymes within the same line are a good way to go in this sort of poem (like "I won't! Cruel World my hell,"). It really could have been written like Howl instead of like a traditional poem.