Posted by Anano on October 27, 2000 at 05:31:34:
In Reply to: I wrote this poem IRL, but I'm going to apply it to a bard I'm playing. I just want to know if you all find it worthy to be on CF posted by The Champ o Hearts (if you know the title you know who it is) on October 25, 2000 at 22:21:04:
What I usually see when in 'thick' works like this is that the author shows a bit of fear and tries to hide himself by using a lot of turn-arounds, metaphors, obsucure mythical references etc. Your clarity is very refreshing by contrast. I see several of my own experiences mirrored in yours and feel for you. To say its inspiring would be a bit over the top, but I could definitely use it to 'slow down' into the writing spirit, if you know what I mean.. On another note, do NOT listen to people who tell you to stop rhyming. The only one who can decide that is you, if your work has a _real_ message that is received and most of all felt by your readers, then there is nothing anyone can point out which isnt superfluous. As I wrote below these people are usually just laymen trying to sound 'sophisticated' by repeating something intelligent-sounding that they've heard said by someone else. When someone says to me, 'poetry that rhymes is childish' I know 100% for sure this person has no experience. Anyway.. keep at it, remember you can only get better. PS just in case, by thick i dont mean dumb or anything like that, i mean full of the heavier emotions like sorrow and rancor :)