Posted by Dazed and Confused on December 04, 1999 at 23:55:59:

Just something my friend and I came up with
for fun when we heard someome say that ragers
hating magic in Thera would be like road
raging pedestrians in Thera.

Do not take seriously - it's not commentary
about the cabal - this is just for fun :)
---------------------------------------------
Olaf sniffs the L.A. air, thick with the black smoke of the city's pollution.

Olaf says "Cars! They are everywhere! The vile things!"

Olaf fills the air with his hatred of vehicles.

Tyranna says, "But surely you can see it is impossible to live
in our city without cars. Cars are valuable tools!"

Olaf smashes his fist down on the table in fury.

Olaf says, "Blast woman! Don't you tell me about the vile things
bein' valuable! I tell you, my parents were killed by cars when
I was just a boy!"

Tyranna nods.

Olaf says, "Run down like animals by an Evil Motorist right in
front of me!"

Tyranna says, "Yes, indeed, cars are dangerous weapons in the wrong
hands, but used responsibly.."

Olaf says, "Bah! I refuse to ride in cars, or car-like vehicles,
and anything who has ever travelled in or with a car shall die!"

Tyranna raises an eyebrow.

Tyranna says, "Ah, Olaf, aside from your little gang, EVERYONE in
Los Angeles uses some sort of transportation."

Olaf says, "Not us! Nothin' to do with 'em, I say! Yer lucky you
use that bicycle of yours or ye'd be in trouble.."

Tyranna says, "When we travelled together as kids, you loved cars!
You were facinated by them before you met this little gang..."

Boryn arrives in the east.

Olaf growls.

Boryn says, "Whoa, calm down there Rager, this here is a church-owned
electric car - no emissions here. Care to go for a ride?"

Olaf snorts.

Olaf says, "Well, I can at least respect ye, but I refuse to set my
rump down in that thing - iffin we go someplace together ye can walk
on your own two feet like me."

Boryn glances at Olaf.

Boryn says, "Hey, Olaf.. isn't that a car key in your hand?"

Olaf says, "Bah, I'm just holdin' it to make sure no one else can use it!"

Boryn raises and eyebrow.

Boryn says, "And wait a minute, I saw you you in the passenger seat when
Joranan the Driver of Buses rear-ended that Lexus."

Olaf sneers.

Olaf says, "I tell ye, HE understand that cars are a threat to nature,
and I have no more t'say on that!"

Boryn says, "Why are you wearing fuzzy rear-view window dice around
your neck? Aren't those clearly associated with.."

Olaf says, "DAMN CAR SYMPATHIZER!"

Olaf's slash does UNSPEAKABLE things to Boryn!
Boryn is DEAD!

Tyranna says, "Olaf was that really necessary?"

Tyranna says, "It's getting ridiculous. I heard you made your wife
carry you fifteen miles when you broke your leg downtown rather than
allowing for an ambulance!"

Olaf says, "BAH! You whore! I'm through toleratin' yer occasional busrides!"

Olaf says, "DAMN CAR SYMPATHIZER!"

Olaf's slash does UNSPEAKABLE things to Tyranna!
Tyranna is DEAD!

The sun disappears over the horizon.

Rush hour has begun.

Gorgarad zooms in, safely inside his Chevrolet.
Aelaania zooms in, safely inside her Honda.
Istoral zooms in, safely inside his Volvo station wagon.

Istoral splatters Olaf all over the pavement!
Olaf is DEAD!

Back at the temple, Olaf rubs his head.

Sword in hand, he rushes off to feebly try to single-handedly block
the rush of zooming vehiciles on the 405 freeway.

Follow Ups:

• Re: A Parody maljr 14:24:08 12/22/99 (0)
• A candidate for the Archives? n/t I scared my cats I laughed so loud 10:21:29 12/07/99 (2)
  • *cough* if you'd look before you speak you'd see it's there (n/t) Dioxide(VIP) 16:01:32 12/09/99 (0)
  • Yes, please! Cassius 08:46:47 12/08/99 (0)
• Heh.. that's really funny.. especially if you've lived near LA. Nada 12:07:44 12/05/99 (1)
  • Or if you've seen a lot of (bad) Rager interviews. Nice work. (n/t) Proud Blade 18:28:24 12/05/99 (0)

Post a Followup