Posted by Nada on December 05, 1999 at 12:07:44:

In Reply to: A Parody posted by Dazed and Confused on December 04, 1999 at 23:55:59:

> Just something my friend and I came up with
> for fun when we heard someome say that ragers
> hating magic in Thera would be like road
> raging pedestrians in Thera.

> Do not take seriously - it's not commentary
> about the cabal - this is just for fun :)
> ---------------------------------------------
> Olaf sniffs the L.A. air, thick with the black smoke of the city's pollution.

> Olaf says "Cars! They are everywhere! The vile things!"

> Olaf fills the air with his hatred of vehicles.

> Tyranna says, "But surely you can see it is impossible to live
> in our city without cars. Cars are valuable tools!"

> Olaf smashes his fist down on the table in fury.

> Olaf says, "Blast woman! Don't you tell me about the vile things
> bein' valuable! I tell you, my parents were killed by cars when
> I was just a boy!"

> Tyranna nods.

> Olaf says, "Run down like animals by an Evil Motorist right in
> front of me!"

> Tyranna says, "Yes, indeed, cars are dangerous weapons in the wrong
> hands, but used responsibly.."

> Olaf says, "Bah! I refuse to ride in cars, or car-like vehicles,
> and anything who has ever travelled in or with a car shall die!"

> Tyranna raises an eyebrow.

> Tyranna says, "Ah, Olaf, aside from your little gang, EVERYONE in
> Los Angeles uses some sort of transportation."

> Olaf says, "Not us! Nothin' to do with 'em, I say! Yer lucky you
> use that bicycle of yours or ye'd be in trouble.."

> Tyranna says, "When we travelled together as kids, you loved cars!
> You were facinated by them before you met this little gang..."

> Boryn arrives in the east.

> Olaf growls.

> Boryn says, "Whoa, calm down there Rager, this here is a church-owned
> electric car - no emissions here. Care to go for a ride?"

> Olaf snorts.

> Olaf says, "Well, I can at least respect ye, but I refuse to set my
> rump down in that thing - iffin we go someplace together ye can walk
> on your own two feet like me."

> Boryn glances at Olaf.

> Boryn says, "Hey, Olaf.. isn't that a car key in your hand?"

> Olaf says, "Bah, I'm just holdin' it to make sure no one else can use it!"

> Boryn raises and eyebrow.

> Boryn says, "And wait a minute, I saw you you in the passenger seat when
> Joranan the Driver of Buses rear-ended that Lexus."

> Olaf sneers.

> Olaf says, "I tell ye, HE understand that cars are a threat to nature,
> and I have no more t'say on that!"

>
> Boryn says, "Why are you wearing fuzzy rear-view window dice around
> your neck? Aren't those clearly associated with.."

> Olaf says, "DAMN CAR SYMPATHIZER!"

> Olaf's slash does UNSPEAKABLE things to Boryn!
> Boryn is DEAD!

> Tyranna says, "Olaf was that really necessary?"

> Tyranna says, "It's getting ridiculous. I heard you made your wife
> carry you fifteen miles when you broke your leg downtown rather than
> allowing for an ambulance!"

> Olaf says, "BAH! You whore! I'm through toleratin' yer occasional busrides!"

> Olaf says, "DAMN CAR SYMPATHIZER!"

> Olaf's slash does UNSPEAKABLE things to Tyranna!
> Tyranna is DEAD!

> The sun disappears over the horizon.

> Rush hour has begun.

> Gorgarad zooms in, safely inside his Chevrolet.
> Aelaania zooms in, safely inside her Honda.
> Istoral zooms in, safely inside his Volvo station wagon.

> Istoral splatters Olaf all over the pavement!
> Olaf is DEAD!

> Back at the temple, Olaf rubs his head.

> Sword in hand, he rushes off to feebly try to single-handedly block
> the rush of zooming vehiciles on the 405 freeway.

Follow Ups:

• Or if you've seen a lot of (bad) Rager interviews. Nice work. (n/t) Proud Blade 18:28:24 12/05/99 (0)

Post a Followup