Posted by Felix on July 12, 2000 at 01:13:54:
role *****************...my birth name, that which my mother gave
role + to me when I first came upon this ignorant world. A name I
role + have cast off like a snake casts off dead, useless skin...
role + Skin that has become more cumbersome than it is worth.
role + Growing up in a densely populated city, such as New Thalos,
role + which is now known as Hamsah Mu'tazz, was the cause of
role + all the suffering in my life...but I see now that it had
role + to happen that way for me to achieve enlightenment.
role + It did not come easy, however. Many years did I study at
role + dimly lit libraries in hopes of 'bettering' myself, and my
role + reputation in the eyes of the ones I now know as the Bound.
role + I always felt 'it', though I could never place a name or
role + even exactly what the feeling was, just simply that my
role + life as it was was false...corrupted...and blind.
role + I sought the council of the clergy and found nothing except
role + an even stronger belief that those around me were even more
role + false than myself. No answers could they give, only
role + diversions. What was this 'thing' then, that I felt?
role + Something that was always there from the first rule I was
role + was made to follow, something that grew stronger and more
role + blinding each time I suppressed the urges that I once called
role + perverse, or cruel, or simply insane.
role + On one of the many hot, moonlit nights that I wandered the
role + deserts not caring whether I lived or died in this false
role + world, I came upon the answer in a most mysterious way...
role + As I was coming over a dune I saw a nomad boy on the
role + next rise. And I realized that I was starving, I did not
role + even notice it as I had wandered in hopelessness.
role + I saw the beast and my first impulse was to kill him...to
role + satiate my hunger with his life. Of course I had brought
role + my own provisions of jerky and such...even a stout knife
role + I had been given in my youth. Revulsion at the urges I
role + had came to me and I reached for my pack. Yet, in that
role + moment I felt I had injured myself by denying what was
role + in me...
role +
role + As the boy fell before me I grinned in satisfaction.
role + I had found the name for the sickness that had Bound
role + man-kind and freed myself in the process.The name was Fear.
role + Fear of being one's true self, fear of rejection, fear of
role + everything...men make great cities, and marvelous things,
role + yet they cower in a prison of fear. A prison that has
role + become so ingrained into their lives that it is nearly
role + impossible to see...
role +
role + No longer does fear lead me by it's invisible arm, I
role + have heard the Call and it has saved me from imprisonment.
role + But no call do I heed that is not my own...I shall
role + hunt those who poison this realm with their hippocritical
role + and ignorant retoric. A beast I have become...no, a beast
role + I have always been, now I sharpen my claws. And I will don
role + a new name, the Ancient name for the beast which lurks
role + in the shadows of the wilds, *****, a true savage...A free soul.